Crying over ripped underwear

So I got a letter today from the workforce center saying that my case worker, who treated me like crap earlier this week, signed me up for a job search program stating that I needed to drive around applying to jobs (but she told me flat out she's not ok with me looking for a job in my town because she thinks it's a dead end town and doesn't want me there, even though it's where my family is) for 35 hours a week. It wasn't enough that she laughed at me and didn't believe me when I told her Jer was starting a job on Monday, but she signed me up without my consent, and told the workforce center I would be at a mandatory meeting at the same time as my prenatal appointment on Monday morning! Thankfully mail wasn't delayed and I got it today so I can call first thing Monday morning, instead of getting it Monday and missing the appointment without calling and then getting in trouble with the county. I'm just so fed up with this woman, I've decided that I'm going to swallow my fears and call and report her on Monday when I get home as well.
So I spent the rest of the day with Jer and Adam and did a few loads of laundry, finishing up the rest of the baby things I had bought a few months ago. I started folding laundry and found one of my brand new pairs of underwear I just bought had ripped down one of the side seams already. I burst into tears. Thank goodness Jer was with Adam so he didn't see how ridiculous I was being. But I couldn't help it. I'm still upset about it. They're brand new, and comfy, and I can't afford any more. It was just my breaking point for the day. I folded them and put them in the drawer anyway, and will probably try to sew them tomorrow.

Can't believe it's almost the end of October

All I can think about lately is "next year, we'll be doing/celebrating this with the baby." I can't wait to dress up the baby in a costume for Halloween with the dogs. And Christmas is weighing on my mind as well. I really can't believe how close it is already. And all the toys and fun things we can buy and spoil our little one. With a birthday that will closely follow. I've been debating on buying small gifts or trinkets for the baby this Christmas, though that baby won't be here yet. I know the baby can't open them, but maybe it would be fun.

27 weeks down

13 to go :)

I can't believe how fast time is still going. I really worried that time would slow down and this would take forever to get through the pregnancy, but it hasn't. Made an appointment with a different dr this week and switched to her. I had a few questions for my old dr, but never got any answers, and just wasn't going to take it anymore. This dr is a family practitioner, so not only will she do my prenatal care, and deliver the baby, but she can be the baby's dr as well. Next appointment is October 25th, which includes a gestational diabetes screening. Wish me luck!

I think this is rock bottom

About 4 months ago Jared started back up with MTS ( a dirt hauling company out of the cities). The company had fallen apart because of Jer's so-called friend, John. He took everything from the company and used it on his own personal wants (I stress wants here, because nothing he spent money on was something he needed, but I won't go into details). Jer was upset, but decided to forgive him, telling me that I need to just let it go, it was in the past (which is cute, how a week ago is past, but 2 years ago things we fought about are still brought up). He continued to drive Helga (the Kenworth) for MTS after this and shortly after John and Jer decided that Jer would finish paying for Helga. Jer has been paying for her since the day he had started driving for John a year and a half ago, but when they started up their own company, the payments stopped because they were going to keep both trucks together, which was fine. Jer finished paying off Helga a year ago, but since John started asking for more, Jer went along with it, let John keep the title, and continued to make payments. Once again, when Jer reached the amount discussed, things get out of hand. Two months ago John makes up a lie about Jer needing to stay around home because he's on probation. I'm sorry, but my baby is a good boy. Believe it or not, it was supposed to be a good lie, to help Jer have a leg to stand on so he can be near home if I need him. Well, MTS wanted proof, and were sick of hearing about it from John, but never a word from Jer. So they fired him. Yes, Jer lost his job because of John. Jer forgives him again. Payday comes around and we drive an hour and a half away to pick up his check, and it's not there. So we have to drive back the next day, and the owner isn't there. So we drive back yet another day, and we're told that we have to wait 45 days to receive his check. Great, considering we're about broke, and rent is almost due. The following Monday Jer starts a new job, and makes it through a 16 hour day, and the wheel seal blows out on the one of the tires. No biggie, Jer drives it home slowly, and has Johns roommates fix it. The dumbasses botch it and it breaks again on the way home. So Jer and my dad fix it, and it holds up like a charm. Jer prepares for work the following Monday and makes it 7 miles out of town and the turbo blew out. Great. No one can help, so Jer has to lug it home, not being able to drive above 3 mph, and parks it. There's nothing he can do. John buys a new turbo, telling Jer he'll have to pay him back (even though the truck title is STILL in Johns' name). Fine, Jer puts it in by himself and prepares for work again. Some gaskets are leaking, so him and my dad fix those and he starts it up. The truck is done for. Metal shavings all through the motor, hoses, everything. Jer calls John and is told that since Jer can't afford to fix it (no shit! he lost his job a month ago because of you!) he's taking the truck back, and Jer isn't getting any of his payments back. Around the same time, Jer gets a call from MTS wanting him to come back to work, and offers him half of his check now, and the rest later once he starts working. Great, we're able to pay rent! But then, since the truck is basically unfixable, Jer isn't able to start work again. John calls MTS and decides to tell them that Jer is lying, and there's nothing wrong with the truck. So MTS calls Jer and tells him now, that he's not getting the rest of his check. It's illegal, but apparently, no one wants to do anything about it. Our cell phones are getting shut off on Monday, our electricity is getting shut off on Tuesday, our rent is due in a week and a half, and we have no food or gas with a total of 43 cents to our names. I honestly think things can't get worse. I think this is rock bottom.