28 Days!

Where did that come from so quick!?! Last I looked at the calendar (yes... I marked down the days on my calendar lol) it was still over a month, now less than a month before the baby's due? Just wow...
 My body's preparing, though my last doctor appointment I still hadn't made any progress. For the past 3 weeks I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions every day, and just last night I lost my mucus plug (tmi, I know, but how exciting!). My next appointment is Wednesday (December 22) so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'm making progress and at least started dilating a little bit.
Things still aren't looking up for us financially, but Jer's done a lot of work to "The Cornfield Corvette" so hopefully she holds up and gets him through a few full weeks of work so we can get caught up on everything. It's stressful to think about every day, but with no eviction notice yet and signs of baby coming growing nearer, it's hard to stay so worried all the time :)

Reliving the roller-coaster

Things have been.... not exactly looking up, but we've been able to make ends meet and start to catch up with our bills. Then the week of Thanksgiving came...

Jer's truck had broken again, he worked 2 days, then had Thanksgiving and that Friday off. This week he worked Monday, and Tuesday, but used the money from both days on fuel. Then he took today off. Tomorrow he's got one load to South Dakota and that's more than likely all he'll have time to do.

We have November's rent paid now finally, but have nothing paid on December yet. Two months behind on phone/cable/Internet, electric and gas (heat). We've now got a loan payment for the semi, gas for every week dr appointments for me, finishing buying baby stuff, and of course rent. I don't think we'll be able to make it this month. After last month getting caught up I really felt better and thought things were just going to continue to move forward. But with Jer losing 2 or 3 days of work a week is just going to kill us. I don't think we'll be able to pick ourselves up after this month. I have a really bad feeling in my gut that this is going to be it. 

Dear Baby

I know you've been growing for almost 30 weeks now, but please try to remember that you've got 10 weeks left. You're making these remaining weeks and days very hard on mommy. You're little kicks, punches, and head-butts are painful. I'm very happy that you are so active, but lets be a little more respectful, hmm? Mommy loves you very much, and can't wait to meet you, lets keep this remaining time just between us as enjoyable as the past 7 months have been. Thanks! :)

Crying over ripped underwear

So I got a letter today from the workforce center saying that my case worker, who treated me like crap earlier this week, signed me up for a job search program stating that I needed to drive around applying to jobs (but she told me flat out she's not ok with me looking for a job in my town because she thinks it's a dead end town and doesn't want me there, even though it's where my family is) for 35 hours a week. It wasn't enough that she laughed at me and didn't believe me when I told her Jer was starting a job on Monday, but she signed me up without my consent, and told the workforce center I would be at a mandatory meeting at the same time as my prenatal appointment on Monday morning! Thankfully mail wasn't delayed and I got it today so I can call first thing Monday morning, instead of getting it Monday and missing the appointment without calling and then getting in trouble with the county. I'm just so fed up with this woman, I've decided that I'm going to swallow my fears and call and report her on Monday when I get home as well.
So I spent the rest of the day with Jer and Adam and did a few loads of laundry, finishing up the rest of the baby things I had bought a few months ago. I started folding laundry and found one of my brand new pairs of underwear I just bought had ripped down one of the side seams already. I burst into tears. Thank goodness Jer was with Adam so he didn't see how ridiculous I was being. But I couldn't help it. I'm still upset about it. They're brand new, and comfy, and I can't afford any more. It was just my breaking point for the day. I folded them and put them in the drawer anyway, and will probably try to sew them tomorrow.

Can't believe it's almost the end of October

All I can think about lately is "next year, we'll be doing/celebrating this with the baby." I can't wait to dress up the baby in a costume for Halloween with the dogs. And Christmas is weighing on my mind as well. I really can't believe how close it is already. And all the toys and fun things we can buy and spoil our little one. With a birthday that will closely follow. I've been debating on buying small gifts or trinkets for the baby this Christmas, though that baby won't be here yet. I know the baby can't open them, but maybe it would be fun.

27 weeks down

13 to go :)

I can't believe how fast time is still going. I really worried that time would slow down and this would take forever to get through the pregnancy, but it hasn't. Made an appointment with a different dr this week and switched to her. I had a few questions for my old dr, but never got any answers, and just wasn't going to take it anymore. This dr is a family practitioner, so not only will she do my prenatal care, and deliver the baby, but she can be the baby's dr as well. Next appointment is October 25th, which includes a gestational diabetes screening. Wish me luck!

I think this is rock bottom

About 4 months ago Jared started back up with MTS ( a dirt hauling company out of the cities). The company had fallen apart because of Jer's so-called friend, John. He took everything from the company and used it on his own personal wants (I stress wants here, because nothing he spent money on was something he needed, but I won't go into details). Jer was upset, but decided to forgive him, telling me that I need to just let it go, it was in the past (which is cute, how a week ago is past, but 2 years ago things we fought about are still brought up). He continued to drive Helga (the Kenworth) for MTS after this and shortly after John and Jer decided that Jer would finish paying for Helga. Jer has been paying for her since the day he had started driving for John a year and a half ago, but when they started up their own company, the payments stopped because they were going to keep both trucks together, which was fine. Jer finished paying off Helga a year ago, but since John started asking for more, Jer went along with it, let John keep the title, and continued to make payments. Once again, when Jer reached the amount discussed, things get out of hand. Two months ago John makes up a lie about Jer needing to stay around home because he's on probation. I'm sorry, but my baby is a good boy. Believe it or not, it was supposed to be a good lie, to help Jer have a leg to stand on so he can be near home if I need him. Well, MTS wanted proof, and were sick of hearing about it from John, but never a word from Jer. So they fired him. Yes, Jer lost his job because of John. Jer forgives him again. Payday comes around and we drive an hour and a half away to pick up his check, and it's not there. So we have to drive back the next day, and the owner isn't there. So we drive back yet another day, and we're told that we have to wait 45 days to receive his check. Great, considering we're about broke, and rent is almost due. The following Monday Jer starts a new job, and makes it through a 16 hour day, and the wheel seal blows out on the one of the tires. No biggie, Jer drives it home slowly, and has Johns roommates fix it. The dumbasses botch it and it breaks again on the way home. So Jer and my dad fix it, and it holds up like a charm. Jer prepares for work the following Monday and makes it 7 miles out of town and the turbo blew out. Great. No one can help, so Jer has to lug it home, not being able to drive above 3 mph, and parks it. There's nothing he can do. John buys a new turbo, telling Jer he'll have to pay him back (even though the truck title is STILL in Johns' name). Fine, Jer puts it in by himself and prepares for work again. Some gaskets are leaking, so him and my dad fix those and he starts it up. The truck is done for. Metal shavings all through the motor, hoses, everything. Jer calls John and is told that since Jer can't afford to fix it (no shit! he lost his job a month ago because of you!) he's taking the truck back, and Jer isn't getting any of his payments back. Around the same time, Jer gets a call from MTS wanting him to come back to work, and offers him half of his check now, and the rest later once he starts working. Great, we're able to pay rent! But then, since the truck is basically unfixable, Jer isn't able to start work again. John calls MTS and decides to tell them that Jer is lying, and there's nothing wrong with the truck. So MTS calls Jer and tells him now, that he's not getting the rest of his check. It's illegal, but apparently, no one wants to do anything about it. Our cell phones are getting shut off on Monday, our electricity is getting shut off on Tuesday, our rent is due in a week and a half, and we have no food or gas with a total of 43 cents to our names. I honestly think things can't get worse. I think this is rock bottom.

Enough is enough

All I'm going to say is this isn't about Jer. He's the only one helping me through this right now, and I just need to vent.
How I live my life is no longer up to you. That decision was no longer yours a long time ago. Telling me that I NEED to do something in my life, and that I NEED to do something for a child created by Jared and myself - no one else - is grossly out of line. We have our own beliefs, and even Jer and I have our own different beliefs. You can't get around that by attacking me. From now on, if you've got something to say to me, you can say it nicely in front of both of us, instead of cornering me and trying to intimidate me. Because it didn't work this time, and it won't work the next. But I promise you, next time I won't be so quick to keep my mouth shut. Next time, I will tell you for the last time, my opinions. My thoughts. I'm done defending myself to you. I thought this would stop over the years, but everyone else was right and I was wrong. I'm an adult, and I have my own family now. And I don't need drama from someone who is supposed to care and support me and my family.

24 more weeks!

I still think this time is going super fast. Though I still can't wait for the waiting to be over and for little baby to be here. It still all feels like a dream. I mean honestly, how can it not? Being told for years that you can't have children, and then just 1 pregnancy test taken just to get Jer to shut up, managed to change the outlook for the rest of our life together. Since that day, besides all the obvious changes in how we look at things, we've really gotten the ball moving to get married. We always wanted to, like from not even a month after we got together, but we're fianally trying to get everything moving and hope to get married this year yet - preferably while the weather's nice and we can have a little get-together outside. I've begun to buy baby stuff, like, way more than I think I should be at this point, but nothing over $20 so far, so I feel I can justify it. A lot of clothes mostly, and a crib bedding set, and a little vibrating bouncy chair. I can't wait!

Thinking about changing doctors

I've been thinking about this a lot for the past week while still waiting on my appointment that I made 3 weeks ago (which is finally tomorrow). My prenatal dr is the hospital/clinic (they're connected, which is something I love about it) only ob. It never once crossed my mind that he would be too busy for a first time pregnant woman who was told 3 years ago she couldn't have kids. But I've just been growing more and more irritated with the situation the longer I've been waiting. My very first ob appointment he didn't show up. I understand that he was busy, but every other dr in the practice has a fill in, except him, so I drove a half hour to an appointment to just turn around and drive back home because apparently his nurses don't call you when he's unable to make an appointment either. Now, this wouldn't have bothered me so much, I was able to make another appointment for 6 days later, but I had moved my original appointment ahead a couple days because I was cramping really bad and I wanted to make sure everything was ok. Having to wait another week, I wanted to switch dr's then, but I didn't. So when I finally got my first ob appointment, he spend what I honestly think was about 20 seconds doing a pelvic exam and pap, and then left. And now there's this; I scheduled my second appointment 3 weeks ago (it was supposed to be set for sometime last week), but the earliest appointment he had available was tomorrow. Really?!? I know he's busy, but he honestly has to have appointments scheduled 3 weeks out? He's a nice dr, but I just don't feel like I'm getting the care I deserve.

Feeling like a cow

Or a hippo maybe, I think they're more round. I've gained 7 pounds in the past month. It's also just 7 pounds in the past 3 months, but I'm only supposed to have gained 3 pounds over the past 3 months, for a total of 15 pounds through this whole pregnancy. I feel like a fat worthless slob. I look nothing like a pregnant woman, I look like a fat obese monster who can't control herself. But here's the thing. I DO control myself. I walk a mile everyday, and when I can't walk outside I borrowed mom's Gazelle and work on that for AT LEAST a half an hour each day. I eat NO junk food, I have one can of soda a week, just to curb my caffeine headaches. I just feel absolutely disgusting. From going from 180, to 250 in less than 6 months, and being told that nothing is wrong with me is hard enough 2 years later to deal with after being unable to lose any weight. But now continually gaining weight and being completely unable to do anything about it, and unable to see any kind of baby-bump, I'm somehow supposed to be comforted by the fact that this is supposedly all for the baby. If it's for the baby, how come I look like a hippo, and not pregnant?

11 weeks today

This time is going so quick, though I have a dreaded feeling that I won't be saying that when I'm as big as a house. I'm starting to feel super excited about certain things, and more and more nervous about others. I've been starting to research different things, as far as feeding and diapering, and trying to compile a list of things we'll actually need, and not just a bunch of crap that I want lol. I've been really lucky so far with no morning sickness, just feeling nauseous off and on and feeling super tired all the time. I'm completely unmotivated and am afraid that I'm gaining too much weight, since my dr has pointed out that pre-pregnancy, I am considered "obese", so any more weight can hurt the baby, or my health. Yippee! *sigh* 21 years of being a skinny sting bean and one bout of being depressed and now I'm obese. But I was glad to hear that the baby, so far, is healthy. Heartbeat was 171, and I got to see the baby slowly forming.

What a busy past month it's been

Well, I've completely failed everyone in staying on top of things here. But I'll start with the good news. Jer and I are having a baby! I'll be posting about this a lot, so I won't bore you now lol. But baby is expected on January 17, 2011.
Now the bad news; the company basically fell apart. I won't go into details because it's just very upsetting for me and I just can't deal with it right now. Because of the loss of income, and Jer not being able to start work in time to get paid by the first, we don't know how we're going to make our rent this coming month. This has been the biggest thing on my mind, and it's been very upsetting for me. I know it's bothering Jer too, but he hides it better than me. I honestly don't know what we're going to do right now.

Wow... It's been a while

With all that's been going on I almost forgot about my blog! Ahhh! lol
So, we successfully moved into OUR OWN HOUSE on April 30th :) Yay! The bad part is that night, the ethernet port on our laptop died so we're sharing one computer (that Jer needs for the business). So.. I'm not getting online nearly as often as I used to :( Oh well Iguess. We've got our house, and our own family, so I'm happy. I promise to start updating more often!

Things Are Moving Along

And quite nicely too I might add (for the moment anyway). I received the final utility forms needed to transfer the services for the house over into our names. I just need to turn in water/garbage, fill out and turn in electric, natural gas is already taken care of. And everything else.. well, I just need to call and set up a date for internet to be hooked up. We've been scanning craigslist for whatever furniture we'll be needing. I've got a dresser and a full size bed (for two adults and two bed-hogging dogs lol we'll see how long this lasts lmao). We have most of the things we need besides furniture. I need cleaning supplies and a vacuum, a few new cookware items, and just things here and there for the bathroom - like random toiletries. I have to say, with how the company has been going lately, I'm feeling pretty good about how things are turning out!

This Man Could Make Our Lives A Soap Opera

After all the bullshit at Jer's dads funeral with his step-mom, he decided to talk to her for the first time since then, today. Since the day of the funeral, his aunt has been calling or texting on a daily basis "just to let you guys know" what she's been saying about us. That she's threatened our lives, threatened to take us to court even though we've done or said nothing, making up lies about us and that we've been calling and harassing her. Now, we have proof that we have not contacted her since the day of the funeral, and it was before the funeral to tell her that we would stop by the house to help her. But she got drunk and we were told by her family not to go over there, so we didn't, we just saw her at the service. We were also told by his aunt almost every day, to be sure not to call over there or go up there because his step-mom would have us arrested.
Today we found out that it was all lies. His step-mom has said nothing about us, has not made threats toward us, or said anything about us at all. His aunt, however, has been telling his step-mom the same things, towards her, about us. She's just been playing us all to try and rip his whole family apart.
Now I am not forgiving his step-mom for all the crap she put us through for the past two years, or for anything she did the night we moved, or since we moved. I will never forgive her for how she acted the day of the funeral, or the time preceding the funeral when she abandoned Jer's dad and left him to die while she went to get drunk for a week. And the fact that after we told her what's been going on she just shrugged it off and has no intention of telling his aunt to knock it off, leaves me feeling that maybe they both knew what they were doing. Perhaps?
Anyway, now Jer wants to go over to the house again and grab more crap. I am so sick and tired of going through this emotional roller-coaster every other week with his whole damn family. We finally decided to just shut everyone out, and now he's got to suck up again.

Good News!

We found our own place! We can move in anytime from now to the first. We put our deposit down, the house is vacant, and we just need to have our first months rent in by May 1st. I'm so excited. For the first time since Jer and I have been together, we will have our own place! It's a town home, in the same town my dad lives in. I can't wait! More updates coming soon (I promise).

Searching... searching.. searching...

We've been looking hard for a new place. We now have about 3 weeks to save up what we need and get approved to our own place. I'm super excited, but super nervous that we won't get approved anywhere. Found a couple nice town homes so far, but one is based on income, and the other is based on credit. So, I think we're SOL with both of those...

INVENTORY :)

So I got bored and decided to go through Jack and Dink's treat bucket. Here's what we've got. Now, some are things we got in bulk and I didn't list because I've got no idea what they are lol And of course there are plenty that they've had in the past year that aren't listed, but I think we've got quite the treat and chew collection going lol

• premium select puppy variety dog biscuit treats
• milkbone crunchy original dog treats
• pedigree breath buster
• hartz cruch 'n clean dog biscuits
• exter-hides twisted rawhide sticks
• merrick bully sticks
• sergeant's people crackers
• zuke's mini naturals
• pet essentials dental coated knotted bones
• milkbone essentials plus long lasting chews
• foppers fresh baked dog treats
• bright bites
• canine carry outs
• nutro natural choice crunchy treats with real berries
• ziwipeak good dog treats venison
• canine carry outs chew-lotta long lasting chewbone
• dogswell happy hips
• dingo denta-treats teeth whitening chews
• purina beggin' littles
• merick texas taffy
• greenies
• terrabone
• moo! bully jrs
• cadet munchy strips
• jones gourmet dog chews pork femur
• pig ear strips
• beef hooves
• bit-o-luv
• merrick texas toothpicks
• snoozles and moozles
• merrick sausages
• turkey steak patties
• dehydrated lamb lung
• dehydrated beef heart
• dehydrated chicken fillets
  
• cadet chicken jerky chips
• bil jac little jacs
  

Made the chi's very happy today!

The past few days have been kinda blah, but today kinda made up for it. I've been searching for a new pet shop wince we moved and I found it! It's 30 miles away, but they have everything I could possibly think of for the chis. I emailed them today about a broken link on their website, that was for a free trial of Orijen. I figured it was for a little sample bag just like you'd get from Wellness or TOTW. But no, the owner emailed me back and said if I'd be willing to make my first drive out and check out the store, he'd send me home with 2 free 1# bags of Orijen. So I have a bag of Regional Red, and their Adult formula. I also got a few samples of Evo, which I have also always wanted to try but never did. This shop has a whole wall of just dog and cat food samples. They carry premade raw, any high quality kibble (cat and dog) you can think of, and so many toys, treats, and chews... So along with all my free goodies, I bought Venus a deer antler to try out (which she will not walk away from lol) and got Jack and my moms dog each a Texas Toothpick (also a chew that I haven't been able to find and really wanted to try out).

C'est la vie

Yesterday was Jer's dads' memorial service. He passed away March 4th. Things have been really rough trying to deal with his stepmom, finding out that she's been using us as a scape-goat and doing nothing but spreading lies about us to Jer's relatives. I felt sick all day yesterday feeling like everyone believed her and they were all passing judgement on me.
Yesterday was terrible. Jer's stepmom showed up the the memorial drunk. She stumbled into the building, and then snuck off into the bathroom, drank some more vodka that she snuck in, and passed out drunk in the middle of the hall in front of everyone. He family had to carry her drunk ass out of the building. She couldn't be a decent person for one measly day.
And my poor baby. I feel so sorry for him; 25 years old and now without both him mother and father. It makes me want to go back and take back every fight we've ever had, and just make everything perfect for him, so he feels like he still has a family that needs him. I tell him all the time we need him, but I can't imagine how this feels, or what he's going through now.
But in the end, I think by the end of the day he felt a lot closer to the rest of his family. I know everyone is there for him, and I left his uncles house knowing that they all cared about Jer and I, and they'll always be there for us. Of course my family is there for us too, but I feel so much better knowing that his cousins want him around a lot more, and everyone cares so much about him.

My Babies Are Growing Up *tear*

I just weighed myself and the chis. All I can say is I know I need to loose weight lol, but Venus still weighs in at 13 pounds. I'm disappointed that she hasn't lost weight, but also happy that she hasn't gained any weight in about a year. Jack, however, now weighs 7 pounds! At his neuter he weighed 5 pounds and just a couple ounces, and I didn't expect him to get over 6 pounds. I weighed him 4 times, in disbelief. I'm almost sad. He's still small, compared to Dink, but I really wanted him to stay tiny. I know it's still small, but I just keep thinking of everything saying "chihuahua's don't get over 5 pounds..." what a bunch of baloney lol. I feel jipped. I feel almost as sad as when I think about Jer and I having kids and them growing up from babies, and teeny toddlers into teens.... Oh god it makes me shutter lol My babies are growing up, and I want them tiny again. Aarrgghh!

Whiny Miss Whiner Pants

Dinky is being extra whiny today. It's kinda annoying lol. She's eaten a whole bag of treats today! I think she's starting to get more upset with her daddy being gone for 3 days now. I don't know why she's so attached to him. Not that she shouldn't be, but I've been taking care of her, feeding her, and holding/cuddling with her since she was a wee pup. And, well, Jer tries, but... yeah...


And now Jack has gas... Oh god....

"Mom, what is that noise?"

Jack is such a little cutiepie! I just can't get over how different his personality and how many different traits he has from Venus. Dink is adorable too, but this boy, I tell ya. I was watching videos on YouTube and watched one with a "Singing Chihuahua" and Jack just kept turning his head staring at the screen trying to figure out what she was screeching about. His antics make me laugh, even when I'm down.

Lonely, I'm so lonely

Well, Jer has left me with the babies. At least he's getting work done. I can't help but laugh at myself. I get so frustrated when he's home, mostly because I'm sick and he picks on me lol But I miss him so much when he's gone, I can't stand it. Venus misses him horribly when he's gone. She just lays on the couch and shakes and whines. At night she curls up on his pillows or his dirty clothes and just lays there and shakes all night. Poor baby girl.

glitter-graphics.com

It's been fun, but...

I've decided I've had about enough of this cold business. I don't know why they call it a 'cold' either, I can't stop sweating! I think a week is plenty long to deal with a stuffy nose, mucusy cough, blowing my nose every 10 seconds, and my ears so build up with fluid that I can barely hear... So, yeah, cold can go buh-bye now.

In Need Of A Puppy Fix

I can't help but find myself looking at chi pups again. I know I want a long coat white chi, but I have found myself also looking at blues and blue merles. They're just so cute! I have a feeling we're going to have 10 dogs by the time we're said and done. I know it's just not possible right now for us to get another dog, but I wish so much that we could. I love my Dinky and little Jack, but I would love another tiny little girl. *Sigh* At least I can dream.

Yay! Laundry!

Jer came home last night, and is leaving again tomorrow.. But!.. he goes back to work on Monday! I'm so excited. I'll have to take him up to his bosses house and then drive back home, but he'll get his truck and trailer all ready tomorrow and start hauling dirt from Buffalo to Duluth right away Monday morning. Then hopefully they'll be starting their own company's work the week after that. Let's hope things keep going up from here. My cold's getting better, so things are slowly moving in the right direction lol :)
So, I'm spending all day today doing laundry, washing his greasy pants and coat, and packing him up for the week.

The Silence Is Deafening

Jared left for his bosses house again this morning. Lots of work to get done and it's getting down to the wire now. I'm worried about his foot but I suppose, he's old enough to make those kind of judgements about whether or not he can drive safely. My cold is making me crabby. Surprise surprise :) My throat feels a little better today but low and behold, my nose is pluggy. There is nothing I hate more in the world than not being able to breathe through my nose. Well, maybe people eating with there mouth open... Ugh, it's a close tie. Anyway, I'm home with the dogs, debating whether or not to clean lol. Oh what fun the next few days will be!

Ugh Sickies

My inevitable seasonal cold/flu bug has hit. Every year on or around Valentines Day lol. My throat is killing me, feels like I'm getting strep again. Not fun at all... At least my nose isn't completely plugged. If I get a pluggy nose on top of not being able to talk, somebody's gonna get hurt :D HAHA! Man I love cold pills...

Strongly Dislikes: The Waiting Game

Got an email from Jer yesterday saying he would be home today. Silly me, expecting him home in the morning.... It's after 3 now, and still no word from him all day. I hate expecting things. It makes me feel more and more nauseous as the day goes on. I mean seriously. Makes your mind wonder... Is he still doing stuff with his boss? Did he stop and see his dad (though I highly doubt that..)? Did he run out of fuel? Did he get pulled over and run into problems? Does he have to work in Duluth tomorrow making it completely ridiculous to come home? Argh!


Oh yeah.. Happy Valentines Day!

Step one in progress :)

I have begun step one of my doggie shop! I have a notebook full of ideas and plans, and am about half done with my website! I just simply cannot wait. Only stopper in the works is money lol Go figure HAHA! I will be selling spa baskets for dogs. And making my own shampoos to go with them. I'm just too excited :)

Wishful thinking

I can't help but sit and think about how things could be different by now. Like having our own home. I love being here at my moms, but nothing beats having your own place, and I hate feeling like I'm imposing. Then I start to think about what could be different from there. Like, our third dog. I want a white, long coat chihuahua. Sure, it'll look like an odd ball with 2 black chis, but I want her anyway. Then I get to thinking about all the cute things I could do for them and buy for them if we had our own house. It would drive Jer just nuts. Oh and the cooking I could do every night. In my own full sized kitchen!
It's about then that my mind slips back down to reality, and I try not to think so much HAHA!

Another Mundane Day

It just makes me feel blah in my stomach. Nothing to do, no money, bored. Called Kelly this morning and I don't even want to talk about "Little miss poor me." I'll just get pissed off. I wish work would start for Jer. I feel like crap seeing all their plans for their company just hang there, and nothing moving forward. We're supposed to find out tomorrow if their authority has even been ordered yet, or if more people aren't doing their jobs...
The dogs are even bored today. I tried to entice them to play with me with some treats but apparently curling up between daddy's feet is more fun. Go figure.
On the plus side mom wants to take us out for dinner tonight, so that ought to be fun. It'll be the first time we've gotten out to do anything besides running to the store to quick grab some eggs and bread.

Like little grizzly bears?!?

While watching the kids play fight today, Jer made the comment how they fight like little grizzly bears. I had to laugh. The way they hop up on their back legs, bat at each other with their paws, and growl like rabid monkeys is enough to make Scrooge laugh lol. Now they're fighting over a bully stick. Two isn't good enough for 2 dogs. No sir. Two bully sticks is only enough for one dog. Three is also only enough for one dog. Four? Well, 4 bully sticks can usually be shared, but someone gets a stock pile of 3, and whoever gets stuck with the one, gets the smallest one there is.

He makes me smile

Jack is such a little monkey lol. Since we've moved, and we're not forced to live in a 8x8 bedroom, he's found so many new places to play and hide out. Dink of course found a spot on the couch and just burrows under her blanket like she always did on our bed all day. But Jack has decided that his new favorite spot is on the back of the love seat, with his front legs resting on whoever is sitting there lol. You can barely feel he's there, and if you turn to look at him, he just cocks his head at you, and quick jumps forward to lick you in the face, then jumps down and runs off.
I gave him and Dink a "waterless" bath last night. Though I can't figure out why they call it waterless. It's liquid, hence, mostly water. They should really call it "rinse-less bath spray" or something like that. But anyway... he froze up and probably thought I was trying to spray him to death or something. But I finally finish, and dry him off a bit, and he tears off like a mad-man. Then stops, starts shaking his whole body for about 5 seconds, then tears off again. Well, after about an hour and I stop laughing, I pick him up, wrap him up in a blanket, and he just looks at me. "I was trying to finish drying myself off mom, what the hell?" "Sorry Jack, I thought you were cold, so I wanted to warm you up!" "I know where the blanket is mom, I wanna play now..."

*Sigh*

I just feel off today. Can't quite put my finger on what's wrong, but I just feel like I want to break down and cry. I'm still a little upset about everything that happened with the move, and keep thinking of little things that got left behind. Nothing really important or anything, but just things like "Hey, I could really use... oh... wait." Things like our comforter. Mom has a comforter, but it's too small for us. We had a bigger one because we're both blanket hogs lol. And my recipe box. Not that I cook a whole lot, and most of the recipes were either printed off the internet, or cut out of magazines or backs of boxes, but it was nice to have. And I feel absolutely horrible that we weren't able to grab Jared's books or records. I know these are worth gettting away from the seventh circle of hell... but it's just bringing me down. And even though I feel like I've put it in the back of my head, I still feel overwhelmed with sadness.

When will some people learn?

Jared's step-mom called 6 times last night, starting at midnight, til 6 am. Drunk, I'm sure, trying to make us feel guilty for leaving her b.s. behind us. I have never disliked someone so much my entire life. Now I know I have a lot of life to live yet (I hope) but this woman drives us both mental. And when it started to rip apart our relationship, we left. I'm sorry, but nothing in this life is more important than my family. My family: my mom, step-dad, and their son, my dad, step-mom, and their 3 sons, and of course Jared, Dink, and Jack. I do care about Jared's dad, but after all the hell his wife has put me through in the past year, and all the she's put Jared through in the past 4 years, I wouldn't consider her family if someone paid me $10 million. We've been gone a week, yesterday. I've tried to keep in touch with emails and a couple phone calls, but (this is why I think she had to have been drunk) she doesn't remember any of it. And of course it's all our fault, because she's perfect. People like her make me sick to my stomach. Actually, she literally makes me throw up every time I see her missed calls on our phone, or her name show up on an email in my inbox.

My "Tawny Scawny Lion"

This was one of my favorite books when I was little. I made my mom read it to me all the time. But that's the first thing that pops in my head when I look at Jack lately. I don't know if it's just the size contrast, because Dink is so big, and Jack is like 10 pounds smaller than her, or what, but he just looks unbelievably thin. No, his ribs aren't showing or anything like that. But his waist is just.... scary looking.... I don't know how else to describe it. I let him out into the living room this morning and left Dinky in the bedroom to give Jack a chance at some uninterrupted food time. Dink is horrible about driving Jack away from his bowl. Either because she thinks his food is better (even though they eat the exact same food) or other times just because she wants to play, and of course, that's more important than him trying to eat. I've been giving him a regular fingertip full of Nutri-Cal everyday to kinda boost his calories, and get him some extra vitamins. Jer's worried that he's too energetic, and he's burning too much body fat. Which I never thought about. He is a very energetic puppy. But I don't know if how energetic he is is normal or not. Dink grew up in the semi with us, basically being trained to be a lap dog lol. Poor girl. She runs around a lot now, but she didn't have much room to in the truck, unless we stopped somewhere safe enough for me to take her out on a walk. Now Jack, he's another story. He's like a rocket ship shooting around on the floor. It makes me so happy to see him running around playing and so happy with Dink, but is there a such thing as too much running around?

Kinda bummed

Today kinda brought down my good mood. No work for Jared, so all of our plans are basically put on hold again. No money for food or gas. Jared's boss is selling his truck, so Jared has to bring the truck he drives all the way back up to him. Which aught to be interesting considering he'll have no way to get back home. I'm starting to think that life isn't supposed to be fair even at the least. We get a half a step forward and get dumped 5 steps back. All because someone needs to get all their trucks to work before worrying about anyone else, screwing over both John and Jared. It's just driving me mental. I mean seriously, how are people supposed to live? You promise someone and their employee work on Monday, there damn well better we work on Monday. Not "Oh, well I had an extra truck of my own to put to work, so f*** you."

What a lazy day!

I've occomplished nothing so far today, and I just feel drained. Jer's watching "The Alamo", and the kids haven't left the couch. Dink (Venus) curled up in her wooly blankey, and Jack made a bed on top of her and her blanket. Maybe I should re-organize some stuff from the move?

Where to begin...

Well, I've decided to start a blog. Not that I expect anyone to read it, but just because I think it would be a nice way to occupy my time, and keep track of funny things the chi-chi's do. I'm currently staying with my mom, along with my fiance Jared, and our two chihuahuas, Venus and Jack. 2010 is, I think, going to be "our year." Things have been really up and down since we've gotten together. More down than up I might add, but none-the-less, our love grows more every day. Jared's starting a trucking company with his close friend, John, and I will be their dispatcher/secretary. Things are finally starting to look up.